So I Left The Numbers Behind

And my life didn’t implode.

For four days, I didn’t press the start button on my watch to record my walks or my run. I didn’t keep track of how far I walked or ran and I didn’t have any record of how many minutes it took. It was something of a challenge to show me that I could turn off the data that more often than not, seems to define me and dictate my efforts and my progress. It’s so natural to just walk or run outside and start recording the walk but on that walk or run I start to overthink things – how many miles do I need to keep the arrow for my average distance pointed up? How many minutes do I need to do to make sure I get to that daily average minute goal I’ve been keeping? How is my pace doing and do I need to change it up in order to maintain my average pace?

For four days, I let that all go. I walked or ran when I felt like it and I didn’t give much thought to whether it or not it had been enough. I was able to appreciate the opportunity to just walk or run and not bring a whole lot of thought or intention into it. And now that I have given this ‘no data recording’ a try, I am thinking that I am going to try to approach things a bit differently going forward. Maybe not focus so much on how much time I am taking when I head outside and just do it, however the pace and however the time. Remember my why — to be a healthier and happier version of myself and to be the best wife, mother, grandmother and daughter I can be. It’s not about being a certain weight. It’s not about running at a certain pace. It’s about doing these things that I have come to love — running, walking, spinning, training – because they give me a purpose that has absolutely nothing to do with numbers.

Leaving The Numbers Behind

I am going to do a little test in the coming days. I am going to be spending time out of town with my good friends and I am going to tale a little break from checking in, in terms of logging all of my food intake and logging my activity on Strava.

This is going to be a big deal for me…after all, I have become so data driven and so focused on keeping the arrows pointed up on my Apple fitness app and wanting to make sure I see that ‘trending higher’ comment on my Strava and getting a thumbs up from Jeff on my weekly food tracking. But I know it’s going to be just fine. I am going to be just fine. I am going to go for walks with my best friend and just not track it,..you know, just walk for the pure enjoyment of it. I might take a run in their neighborhood and just go up and down the different streets and do it because I truly can and not because I feel I’m supposed to get it done. I will enjoy what I eat and focus a little bit more about who I am with and what we are conversing about and not think too much about how I ate this many calories earlier in the day so I really should just eat this many calories at dinner. I will enjoy it all but stay focused and mindful.

I don’t know how I got to this place where I have allowed the data to take charge of me but it has and I know that I don’t want to continue feeling like the up and down arrows and the Monday report on Strava own me and determine my success. The numbers, after all, are just numbers.

The Joy Of A Run

Yesterday morning, I went out for a run with not very much intention, other than to follow a certain route I had come up with. If I was to complete the entire route, it would have been more than five miles but I went out with the attitude to just get out there and run.

I was layered up…after all, it was 40 degrees but it was also clear blue skies and sunny and absolutely perfect fall weather. I ran through the familiar streets of my neighborhood and then crossed over the boulevard that would take me through the streets of the next neighborhood, which I love to run through. I followed that route I had come up with, up until I reached a street that opens up to four different roads and instead of choosing to go left, I continued on with the straight road and allowed it to lead me to go a little further than I originally planned.

I wasn’t looking at my watch…it was covered up by my long sleeve shirt and jacket and gloves. I had no idea of my pace and my time…and it was actually freeing. I just ran. I ran with intent and I ran with joy and those two things don’t always mix but yesterday morning, they were both there. I waved to the children on the bus as I passed it and turned onto the next street. I was aware of all that I was seeing around me and all that I was doing yet all of the numbers — the pace, the distance, the time – were unbeknownst to me. I was running just because. I was able to. I was running because I chose to. And when I decided I was done, I pressed ‘stop’ and had a moment — a moment of achievement and accomplishment…something similar to what I feel every time I cross the finish line of a race. Exhilaration. Amazement. Joy.

Stretching Is A Must

I turned 58 last Wednesday and I am thinking about a conversation I had with Jeff where he asked me if I feel older and I responded, ‘my body feels it lately.’

I had been dealing with some on and off pain/discomfort in the side of my right thigh going down to my knee for the last two weeks or so. I know I was doing a bit much with three run days a week and a spin class in between the run days and oh yeah…my walking workouts on my Peloton were more of the brisk and power walk paces than an easy walk. I would end these activities – most of the time – with a hamstring stretch and a calf stretch just because they were pretty much part of the routine.

The discomfort was turning more and more into something of a pain and I noticed that walking up the steps was a challenge and a few people would ask me why I was limping. I was so sure it was my hamstring so I kept doing the hamstring stretches but the pain was still there. I took a week or so off from running to let things ease up and I stuck to mostly walking and the elliptical but I still felt that pain/discomfort at times. Last Thursday, I was in the middle of my training session with Jeff and I pointed out the area to him, saying it’s my hamstring. He countered that it’s my IT band and most likely, a little overuse thing and it probably just needed some good stretching and foam rolling. We spent a good part of the training session on stretching and I promised to start using the foam roller and practice the other stretches regularly. I’ve kept to my promise and fingers crossed – I am feeling MUCH better. I know I have skipped over these kinds of stretches after a run or spin class or heavy walking workout but I realize now just how important it is to take the time to stretch out the muscles. I might very well feel fine after I have finished an activity but things are going on in the body that are sending signals to the mind that all is not fine if I don’t take those few minutes to stretch. It is so not worth it to deal with the discomfort/pain and have to take a rest from running and spinning, just because I was too rushed or I didn’t think it was worthwhile to stretch. It is worthwhile and it feels good when I can walk without so much as a limp or struggle with walking up the steps. I am worth it!

When The Time Isn’t Right

You know how I said that I shouldn’t let the data define me…the number on the scale, the pace on my watch, the arrows on my apple fitness app that point down….well, most of the time I really do mean it but there is one thing that really gets me all riled up and that’s how my watch doesn’t sync accurately with the treadmill here and I wind up with a time that is quite off from the ‘real’ time.

I know that in the long run — pun intended — it shouldn’t matter what the data shows. A run is a run, right?! On one hand, a run is a run but when I see the watch pace is a good minute more per mile than the treadmill and the distance isn’t quite as far as what I ‘really’ did…that run isn’t just a run. I want that pace to be that one minute less. I want that extra half mile to count. It does matter…

It took me a really long time to break my obsession with the scale. It took me a really long time to tell myself that I am not going to run the same paces and times that I did nine or ten years ago. Seeing a 12:20 minute mile on my Strava app from a really great 45 minute interval run I did today….when I know all too well that I really ran in the 11:00-11:10 minute mile pace…I know I should tell myself that this doesn’t define me and I have had plenty of other runs that have a shorter overall pace. I know I am on a journey. It continues with each and every run and walk and spin class and training session. It also continues with each and every day that I live this life and how I evolve and how I deal with the highs and lows of it all. This morning’s Strava post was kind of a low point but it’s how I can choose to deal with it and not allow it to define me like those other measurements of data had defined me…THAT’S the journey!

Shifting Gears

I have been keeping at a pretty good routine now for the past few weeks, doing one or two spin classes a week, running three times a week, training with Jeff twice a week and walking whenever possible, Movement. Movement. Movement. I enjoy it all and I honestly hadn’t felt like I had overdone things until I took a look at my weekly tracker.

Each week, I share with Jeff a daily report, if you will. I share how many hours I slept, how long of a non-eating window I had, what my macros were and what my activity was in terms of calorie burn and time spent. As of late, my average workout time per day is 90 minutes. It might be a 40 minute run and then a walk. It might be a 50 minute spin classes and a 40 minute workout session with Jeff. And of course, it can be more than 90 minutes because I like to get steps in and keep my arrows up on the apple fitness app. I have that drive and that motivation to move however I can, whenever I can, whatever I can…that drive that was missing two years ago and made me reassess how I approached running and working out to make it something I get to do, rather than something I have to do.

That approach still works. I do those walks and those runs and everything else with a true sense of wanting to do it but I think that over the last two weeks maybe..I have been feeling the effects of my overzealousness. Tightness in my left hamstring. A little dullness in my right ankle joints. Feeling a bit more tense in my lower body as Jeff has me stretch at the end of our sessions.

I want to be active. I love being active. But being active means being smart and realizing what might be too much. My calendar of late has read: Sunday spin, Monday run, Tuesday spin and workout, Wednesday run, Thursday (spin if I didn’t do Sunday) walk and workout, Friday run. Saturday rest. I don’t think I realized just how much that was playing into those sudden ankle dullness and hamstring tightness. I know deep down that it’s just not worth being so driven to the point of paying the price with a real injury. So I am going to take it a little easier over the next few days and be a little smarter about how I can do the things I love while also making sure I take care of myself.

Now That’s A First!

I am forever learning things along this journey of mine.

I am learning how to improve my form when I am doing a reverse lunge or doing a single arm press or a tricep kickback. I am learning how to hold my neck at a certain angle when I am doing core moves as I tend to position myself in a way that would give me a strained neck and we don’t want that, do we?! I am learning how to do a squat hold and not position myself so deep that it will do more harm than good. I am learning how to be positioned just right when I am about to do a bunch of pushups.

I have learned so many things over the years I’ve been doing this fitness and running thing and I continue to learn. It’s a process. But there’s this certain feeling of pride and cause for celebration when I am able to demonstrate the things I have learned and Jeff feels the joy of my graduating from student to…let’s just say protege. Yesterday, I was in the middle of my training session, I was all set to start the superset that included reverse lunges using the TRX. I was just about to start on the first lunge when I readjusted myself and found the proper place to do the first lunge. Jeff right away said something along the lines of ‘now that’s a first!’ He went on to say how great it was that it was the first time that I was able to see where I was and have the awareness to know that I needed to move a few inches back to get the most of the movement. I have to say, I was pretty stoked that I could do that….that I have learned how to assess something moments before or even in the moment as I am about to do something and realize it’s not exactly right.

The student is hardly ready to be the teacher but it feels pretty good to be graduate to that next step.

Running Goals

I had a great conversation the other day with Chris and Jill from the Becoming Elli podcast and of the many thought provoking questions they asked, one of those that stood out was what are my running goals for the future.

I have to say that I don’t have a specific goal. I have been fortunate to run all kinds of 5ks and 10ks and half marathons over the last 11 plus years. I can honestly say that the half marathons distance is not going to be a thing for me. I have done five half marathons and they all hold special memories for me but I really don’t like the training involved. The battles with my motivation and drive to run pretty much started out as I was training for my third half and I just didn’t have it in me to do those long runs. I would run a certain distance and then tell myself I was tired and it was too much and then I’d be all upset with myself for stopping short of the training plan goal. I have the Jerusalem Marathon 10k on my calendar for next March and I am excited for that, especially since it’s been over three years since I’ve done it.

I guess when I think about it…I have vague goals. I’m not thinking in terms of working on my pace to make it faster or expanding my distance as the 10k seems to be just enough for me when I am doing a race or a Friday run once or twice a month. To be more specific, I want to get back on the trails with Jeff when we are both able to make it work with our schedules. There are a few trails we’ve done that I’d like to revisit and do again…if only to conquer the hills I might have walked up in past attempts. A redemption run if you will…

Okay…more specific — I would love to do a live Peloton tread run class when I’m in New York in a few months. I love when I get a shout out in a live class when I’m on my tread at home but to be in the studio and take a class with Matty or Kirsten or Matt or really any of the instructors I’ve gotten to virtually run with…that would be amazing!!!

Another Challenge Done

With today being the last day of August, that means the completion of another challenge Jeff had me do, in addition to my regular workouts and runs and spin classes. A minute long plank. 15 pushups. 25 squats. I did these three movements every day since the beginning of the challenge earlier this month and I am here to tell you all about it.

Pushups were something I had to really work on and learn how to do them right. Doing a modified pushups where my lower body is on the floor and I have to focus more on the upper body movement…easy peasy lemon squeezey, as Jeff likes to say. Doing a pushup where I am in a plank position and pushing my upper body up and down while working those triceps and shoulders…not quite as easy but something I have learned to work on. Doing 15 of them and doing every single one of them with the same intention and focus…now that is more of a challenge. In regards to the squats, I love doing them and I really appreciate all that they do for my lower body but I have had to pay more attention to how I do them, as Jeff had me do rounds of them during various workout sessions and I might have been a little too quick and hasty with my movement and the form might not have been 100% perfect. Once I knew how to really do them right, I found that it took a little more time and more focus to make sure I was getting the most out of them. I mean…if you’re going to do them, you should do them right! And then there is the one minute plank. Now THAT takes a lot of focus and I’m not talking about just the physical part of holding a plank. Doing it right and doing it for 60 seconds takes mental focus and effort and I am here to tell you that I did the plank and the pushups and the squats with 100% effort and focus every single day.

Onward and forward!

A 10K For Frankie

I had it down on my calendar to do this today and so I did. A 10K run in honor of my good friend Frankie’s birthday.

Back in March, I ran a virtual 10K on March 27, the original date for the Jerusalem Marathon 10K. It wound up being postponed and I wasn’t able to do the race on the new date so I did my own 10K. I ran it in memory of my friend Aliza and in honor of my mother’s birthday, which was that very day. That afternoon, Frankie joked that I should run on her birthday and here I am, August 21 – all sweaty and on an adrenaline high from running outside in honor of my friend,

I looked at my time when I had completed the run and I saw it was 1:09:27. Not bad, considering I had chosen to run up this one street that is an endless climb from one neighborhood to the next. I kept telling myself that I was doing this for Frankie and how she has shown up for me again and again and this run is about celebrating her and all that she means to me. Our Saturday afternoon walks together, the weddings we’ve done our crazy dance together, the races we’ve run together…celebrating the births of our children and grandchildren, the weddings and being together when times were sad or tough.

I cannot and will not make this about the time, not when I can reflect on the meaning of the run. Time no longer played a role. I did this thing to honor her and to celebrate her and it could have taken an hour or it could have taken two hours…doing it for Frankie was the true victory.