When The Time Isn’t Right

You know how I said that I shouldn’t let the data define me…the number on the scale, the pace on my watch, the arrows on my apple fitness app that point down….well, most of the time I really do mean it but there is one thing that really gets me all riled up and that’s how my watch doesn’t sync accurately with the treadmill here and I wind up with a time that is quite off from the ‘real’ time.

I know that in the long run — pun intended — it shouldn’t matter what the data shows. A run is a run, right?! On one hand, a run is a run but when I see the watch pace is a good minute more per mile than the treadmill and the distance isn’t quite as far as what I ‘really’ did…that run isn’t just a run. I want that pace to be that one minute less. I want that extra half mile to count. It does matter…

It took me a really long time to break my obsession with the scale. It took me a really long time to tell myself that I am not going to run the same paces and times that I did nine or ten years ago. Seeing a 12:20 minute mile on my Strava app from a really great 45 minute interval run I did today….when I know all too well that I really ran in the 11:00-11:10 minute mile pace…I know I should tell myself that this doesn’t define me and I have had plenty of other runs that have a shorter overall pace. I know I am on a journey. It continues with each and every run and walk and spin class and training session. It also continues with each and every day that I live this life and how I evolve and how I deal with the highs and lows of it all. This morning’s Strava post was kind of a low point but it’s how I can choose to deal with it and not allow it to define me like those other measurements of data had defined me…THAT’S the journey!

Shifting Gears

I have been keeping at a pretty good routine now for the past few weeks, doing one or two spin classes a week, running three times a week, training with Jeff twice a week and walking whenever possible, Movement. Movement. Movement. I enjoy it all and I honestly hadn’t felt like I had overdone things until I took a look at my weekly tracker.

Each week, I share with Jeff a daily report, if you will. I share how many hours I slept, how long of a non-eating window I had, what my macros were and what my activity was in terms of calorie burn and time spent. As of late, my average workout time per day is 90 minutes. It might be a 40 minute run and then a walk. It might be a 50 minute spin classes and a 40 minute workout session with Jeff. And of course, it can be more than 90 minutes because I like to get steps in and keep my arrows up on the apple fitness app. I have that drive and that motivation to move however I can, whenever I can, whatever I can…that drive that was missing two years ago and made me reassess how I approached running and working out to make it something I get to do, rather than something I have to do.

That approach still works. I do those walks and those runs and everything else with a true sense of wanting to do it but I think that over the last two weeks maybe..I have been feeling the effects of my overzealousness. Tightness in my left hamstring. A little dullness in my right ankle joints. Feeling a bit more tense in my lower body as Jeff has me stretch at the end of our sessions.

I want to be active. I love being active. But being active means being smart and realizing what might be too much. My calendar of late has read: Sunday spin, Monday run, Tuesday spin and workout, Wednesday run, Thursday (spin if I didn’t do Sunday) walk and workout, Friday run. Saturday rest. I don’t think I realized just how much that was playing into those sudden ankle dullness and hamstring tightness. I know deep down that it’s just not worth being so driven to the point of paying the price with a real injury. So I am going to take it a little easier over the next few days and be a little smarter about how I can do the things I love while also making sure I take care of myself.

Now That’s A First!

I am forever learning things along this journey of mine.

I am learning how to improve my form when I am doing a reverse lunge or doing a single arm press or a tricep kickback. I am learning how to hold my neck at a certain angle when I am doing core moves as I tend to position myself in a way that would give me a strained neck and we don’t want that, do we?! I am learning how to do a squat hold and not position myself so deep that it will do more harm than good. I am learning how to be positioned just right when I am about to do a bunch of pushups.

I have learned so many things over the years I’ve been doing this fitness and running thing and I continue to learn. It’s a process. But there’s this certain feeling of pride and cause for celebration when I am able to demonstrate the things I have learned and Jeff feels the joy of my graduating from student to…let’s just say protege. Yesterday, I was in the middle of my training session, I was all set to start the superset that included reverse lunges using the TRX. I was just about to start on the first lunge when I readjusted myself and found the proper place to do the first lunge. Jeff right away said something along the lines of ‘now that’s a first!’ He went on to say how great it was that it was the first time that I was able to see where I was and have the awareness to know that I needed to move a few inches back to get the most of the movement. I have to say, I was pretty stoked that I could do that….that I have learned how to assess something moments before or even in the moment as I am about to do something and realize it’s not exactly right.

The student is hardly ready to be the teacher but it feels pretty good to be graduate to that next step.

Running Goals

I had a great conversation the other day with Chris and Jill from the Becoming Elli podcast and of the many thought provoking questions they asked, one of those that stood out was what are my running goals for the future.

I have to say that I don’t have a specific goal. I have been fortunate to run all kinds of 5ks and 10ks and half marathons over the last 11 plus years. I can honestly say that the half marathons distance is not going to be a thing for me. I have done five half marathons and they all hold special memories for me but I really don’t like the training involved. The battles with my motivation and drive to run pretty much started out as I was training for my third half and I just didn’t have it in me to do those long runs. I would run a certain distance and then tell myself I was tired and it was too much and then I’d be all upset with myself for stopping short of the training plan goal. I have the Jerusalem Marathon 10k on my calendar for next March and I am excited for that, especially since it’s been over three years since I’ve done it.

I guess when I think about it…I have vague goals. I’m not thinking in terms of working on my pace to make it faster or expanding my distance as the 10k seems to be just enough for me when I am doing a race or a Friday run once or twice a month. To be more specific, I want to get back on the trails with Jeff when we are both able to make it work with our schedules. There are a few trails we’ve done that I’d like to revisit and do again…if only to conquer the hills I might have walked up in past attempts. A redemption run if you will…

Okay…more specific — I would love to do a live Peloton tread run class when I’m in New York in a few months. I love when I get a shout out in a live class when I’m on my tread at home but to be in the studio and take a class with Matty or Kirsten or Matt or really any of the instructors I’ve gotten to virtually run with…that would be amazing!!!

Another Challenge Done

With today being the last day of August, that means the completion of another challenge Jeff had me do, in addition to my regular workouts and runs and spin classes. A minute long plank. 15 pushups. 25 squats. I did these three movements every day since the beginning of the challenge earlier this month and I am here to tell you all about it.

Pushups were something I had to really work on and learn how to do them right. Doing a modified pushups where my lower body is on the floor and I have to focus more on the upper body movement…easy peasy lemon squeezey, as Jeff likes to say. Doing a pushup where I am in a plank position and pushing my upper body up and down while working those triceps and shoulders…not quite as easy but something I have learned to work on. Doing 15 of them and doing every single one of them with the same intention and focus…now that is more of a challenge. In regards to the squats, I love doing them and I really appreciate all that they do for my lower body but I have had to pay more attention to how I do them, as Jeff had me do rounds of them during various workout sessions and I might have been a little too quick and hasty with my movement and the form might not have been 100% perfect. Once I knew how to really do them right, I found that it took a little more time and more focus to make sure I was getting the most out of them. I mean…if you’re going to do them, you should do them right! And then there is the one minute plank. Now THAT takes a lot of focus and I’m not talking about just the physical part of holding a plank. Doing it right and doing it for 60 seconds takes mental focus and effort and I am here to tell you that I did the plank and the pushups and the squats with 100% effort and focus every single day.

Onward and forward!

A 10K For Frankie

I had it down on my calendar to do this today and so I did. A 10K run in honor of my good friend Frankie’s birthday.

Back in March, I ran a virtual 10K on March 27, the original date for the Jerusalem Marathon 10K. It wound up being postponed and I wasn’t able to do the race on the new date so I did my own 10K. I ran it in memory of my friend Aliza and in honor of my mother’s birthday, which was that very day. That afternoon, Frankie joked that I should run on her birthday and here I am, August 21 – all sweaty and on an adrenaline high from running outside in honor of my friend,

I looked at my time when I had completed the run and I saw it was 1:09:27. Not bad, considering I had chosen to run up this one street that is an endless climb from one neighborhood to the next. I kept telling myself that I was doing this for Frankie and how she has shown up for me again and again and this run is about celebrating her and all that she means to me. Our Saturday afternoon walks together, the weddings we’ve done our crazy dance together, the races we’ve run together…celebrating the births of our children and grandchildren, the weddings and being together when times were sad or tough.

I cannot and will not make this about the time, not when I can reflect on the meaning of the run. Time no longer played a role. I did this thing to honor her and to celebrate her and it could have taken an hour or it could have taken two hours…doing it for Frankie was the true victory.

Overall…

Overall you’re doing well but lately your running pace is slowing down. Increase your speed to keep your arrow up.

Your arrow looks good but your average cardio fitness is headed down lately. To keep your arrow up, push the pace in your walking and running workouts.

A three mile run this morning mixed with a bunch of hills. A four mile run this past Monday that seemed to go pretty well, considering I hadn’t run outside in a few weeks. The effort was there in both runs. The drive…the motivation…the heart and soul. Overall, I’m doing well.

But then this app on my phone that tracks my fitness and all of the data that goes with it — my cardio fitness, my running pace, my walking pace – tells me it’s okay but…

I can’t allow this data to define me or my success, just like I can’t be defined by my dress size or the number on the scale. It’s data. I know my work is not for nothing. Can I try to push a little harder? Yes but I won’t use this ‘overall’ message as a voice that tells me I’m not enough. As I head towards my 58th birthday in a month of so, I say I am not just doing well. I am doing great.

Remembering What This Is All About

I haven’t been blogging as much lately and I keep telling myself I don’t have as much to share here as I post on my other social media. I have my Facebook running groups to share my actual runs and photos but I haven’t been as active there so note to myself – I really have to get back to that. I get so much out of seeing what my running group friends are doing and there’s no reason why I can’t be posting about my runs. I’ve been more active on IG and Facebook, promoting Embracing My Inner Athlete and doing what I can to spread my message that it’s never too late to start on a goal. I’ve been busy over the last few months, recording podcast interviews, querying social and print and broadcast outlets in hopes of getting more outreach and getting the book out there.

But this blog has been something special since I started it in 2019. You Want Me To Do What?! Has been about sharing the humorous side of my fitness journey, just as much as the deep and serious side. It’s about sharing those moments and those situations where I am faced with something that I question…where I wonder how could I possibly do such a thing…and I write about it as openly and as truthfully as i can.

I’m doing one of Jeff’s challenges this month. I started it a week ago Sunday and it’s a little something — well, not really something — to add to whatever else I am doing fitness wise. I had one monthly challenge where I did pushups everyday and I emphasize the word ‘challenge’ as pushups were not always something I could do properly and then to do a whole bunch of them…huh?! I had another monthly challenge where I did a sixty second plank every day for a month. Another one of those moves that I don’t love and it took me a long time to get comfortable with. So this month is putting the last three monthly challenges together and doing a sixty second plank, 25 squats and 15 pushups, I’ve been doing the challenge every single day since the start and so far, so good, Once upon a time, I would have said ‘you want me to do what?!’ Today, I am okay with it because this whole journey has been and continues to be about one woman’s story of facing hard things…often questioning herself and her abilities…and saying okay, I’ll try that. If Jeff would have told me to do this challenge back when we first met 12 years ago, I would have a totally different post to write and it would be filled with a lot of I can’ts and expressions of self doubt. There are still times when I use the phrase when he instructs my next workout move or suggests a challenge but perhaps there is one less question mark or an inner voice telling me to say, what do you want me to do rather than you want me to do what?!

Runner’s Choice: Walking

I’ve been a little under the weather over the last week with an upper respiratory thing and I haven’t done any running or spinning since last Sunday. For someone who likes to move and get that big calorie burn, it’s hard to not be doing those activities but I have come to the realization that I cannot and more important, will not compromise myself for the sake of that calorie burn.

Maybe I’ve become obsessive compulsive with needing to move. I do like to move and I don’t like it and I feel guilty when I don’t move. But I have also gotten older and wiser enough to realize that moving when I shouldn’t be moving will only result in my not moving for a whole lot longer than I need to. I had two days in the last week where I didn’t move at all and I hated that but I also told myself that taking those days off might just be the medicine I need. I have been feeling a little bit better each day and I’m almost there with my not having that congested feeling that tells me that a spin class or a little run is not in the cards today. Almost but not yet there.

So walking has been my thing. I’ve done some walking outside and I’ve done some walks on the treadmill. It’s movement…which I like. It’s a little calorie burn…not as much as a run or a spin workout but it’s good enough. And good enough is what I can manage these days and there is no shame in managing myself.

Who Is Hildee?

This is a question I was asked by Jonathan Levitt during our recent podcast interview. I’ve been a big fan of For The Long Run and a follower of Jon’s on social media and it really was a please to meet him and share my story with him. So who am I?

I am a wife and mother and grandmother and daughter first and foremost. My family is my everything and they are my why. I am hopefully a better version of myself because I made that decision 12 years ago to make myself a priority so that I can be around longer and enjoy a better quality of life, with them. I want to get on the floor to build Lego houses with my grandchildren and dance around with them to silly songs and run alongside my kids in a race or in the gym and take walks with my husband even if I am going too fast.

I am a runner and an athlete. It’s hard at times to share that and to utter those words or type them but this journey of mine has been two fold. I have become something of a runner and athlete — having taken part in 5ks, 10ks, half marathons and Spartans and trail running. That journey can be seen as an external one where I can be seen running or walking outside and seeing the results of my efforts in my clothing size and measurements. I have also transformed internally and this particular journey is all the more important for me to share because I am that wife and mother (not a grandmother at the beginning of all of this) who started out, so afraid and so lacking that belief in herself to try those things that would ultimately bring her joy and purpose. I was afraid to try running but with the help of someone who believed in me and my potential — Jeff — I learned to open myself up to the possibilities that seemed impossible.

I am Hildee and I am the best version of me in 2026 than I could have ever hoped for.