The True Meaning Of Strength

I was going through my photos on Facebook and I came across a screenshot of a quote I had found on Runkeeper several years back.

Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.

How true that is. Sure you can be strong from lifting weights and running distances and doing a Pilates or yoga class. But there is a certain strength in being able to do something that you didn’t think you could do. There are so many things I thought I couldn’t do but somehow, I was able to get them done. Standing at the starting line of that first 5k race when my running buddy told me at the last minute that he wanted me to do it on my own. Pressing the ‘send’ button for my first trail race, feeling so unsure of myself. Crossing the finish line at a Spartan race with mud caked on my thighs and feeling the scratches on my shoulder from crawling under the barbed wire. Holding a one minute…a two minute…a three minute plank and trying to not give into the shaking in my arms. Running a half marathon…five times…

I’m no hero. I’m no superstar. I am a wife and a mother and a grandmother. My strength is something that isn’t there for all to see. It comes from within. It’s there…I just have to channel it every once in a while.

I Am Doing The Very Best I Can

You know how you make a plan and you confidently start out following the plan to a t and something happens beyond your control and well, the plan doesn’t wind up looking the way it had started out. I started out on this 10k training/periodization plan, excited to have something to follow over the next few months to get me race ready. I had every intention of doing each day’s activity — the running, the cross training, the strength workouts — and I knew that there were going to be certain days that would make it difficult to follow but I was determined to somehow make it all work. I was in Florida last week and some days were a bit long and we started out early yet I made sure to get to the gym at the crack of dawn to get that tempo run in or to get on the elliptical.

Last week, my mom broke her ankle and wound up having surgery and we fortunately made it back in time to be with her and get things set up with her recovery. I had kept telling myself (and Jeff) that I would somehow make it all work and I wouldn’t use this incredibly busy time as an excuse to not get things done. I wanted to stay on plan but I knew it would be a challenge. There were some days where I had to keep my strength workout to 15 minutes when I normally would have done 30 minutes and I never managed to do the run that was meant for Sunday’s plan. I saw some arrows go down on my Apple fitness app but I tried not to take it personally as this is a temporary situation and I am doing the very best I can.

I am doing the very best I can. That is my mantra. I am doing what I can, when I can, how I can but I am also accepting of those times when I can’t do it exactly the way that plan was designed, And when I do that outdoor walk or I finally attend a spin class for the first time in weeks or I finish a 30 minute tempo run, I do it with a bit more appreciation and motivation. The walk I managed to do yesterday afternoon — once my mom had been discharged from the hospital and was safely settled in at her apartment — was something I hadn’t experienced before. My feet were taking those steps and I kept getting texts and phone calls from family and friends checking in and I did that walk with so much awareness. I felt fortunate that I was to be getting those 45 minutes to be out and about after two straight days of being in a hospital and caring for my mom and putting any of my needs aside. I felt privileged to be able to take each step when my mother was now in a situation where it would be several weeks before she would be able to walk on both feet. I tried to let go of the stress and the worry and even the guilt of not having been here when it happened but then again, thankful that we made it back here in time and in spite of the terrible weather in the states that cancelled our original flight back here. As I walked, I mentally told myself that I am doing the very best I can and when I was done, I felt this tremendous sense of clarity and calm that I hadn’t felt in days.

It’s Just A Blueprint

I didn’t really know what Jeff meant by that when he sent me the 10k periodization/training plan a little over two weeks ago. It’s just a blueprint, he said.

I am a rule follower. I also tend to go on the literal side…like Amelia Bedelia, if you will. I have spent the last two or so years, doing my own thing with my running and other activity but I really like having a plan that I can follow and do something and then check it off. Now the plan can be pretty specific where Jeff has me do a three mile run but then I will start asking things like how is the pace supposed to be or is it a timed run or a shakeout run. And what if I have a day where I just can’t get that run or cross training in? That’s when Jeff tells me it’s just a blueprint.

The plan is a plan, yes and I intend to follow it as best I can but things come up where I have to tell myself that I might not be able to follow it to a T. Today, for example, I came back to my in-laws’ place after a three hour drive and I knew that doing a three mile all out effort run wouldn’t end so well but I could handle the four mile easy long run/jog that was on this Friday’s schedule. So I switched things around and voila – I had a really good run today. Friday might not be a great day for me to do that other run but maybe I will switch it to a rest day and get that run in on Saturday night. It’s a blueprint.

The Numbers Game

It all began in 1986…this game I have been playing with the scale and the numbers that have appeared on it, that ultimately made me dependent on what the scale said that day. Despondent over what those numbers read on a ‘bad’ day. Distorted with my sense of self. I got off a plane after spending a gap year in Israel, having gained 30 pounds and off to Weight Watchers I went for what would be the first of many, many times.

I didn’t own a scale during that year abroad. I really didn’t have any sense of the weight I had put on, other than seeing my face turn puffier in pictures and in the mirror. I didn’t see a true change along the way, until a few family members and family friends made comments about my weight gain and boy, was that hard to take! I didn’t take Weight Watchers all that seriously that summer as I was 17 years old and I had no idea as to how to budget my points and eat more sensibly and mindfully after years of being able to eat junk food and not exercise. That summer was the beginning of what would be a 37 or so year roller coaster ride with the scale. I saw my weight go up and I saw it go down and I somehow got so caught up in the number and let it define me and dictate the success and the failure of my efforts. I ultimately cancelled my membership with Weight Watchers, scared of being on my own but certain that I needed to cut the ties I had bound myself to the scale.

It’s been a few years now since I’ve been ‘on my own.’ I did see my weight go up quite a bit and even though I was no longer ‘weighing in’ at the Weight Watchers scale, I was still playing those mind games with those numbers. Through a lot of hard work – working on a more concentrated way of eating, taking my activity to a more intense level and trying to let go of that obsession with the number — I have seen things change for the better. My weight is down — yes, we are talking numbers here – to where I was 10 years ago. I do weigh myself regularly but I do it in a way where whatever that number may be, I don’t allow myself to go to that dark place I used to frequent in my ‘weighing in’ days. It’s data, as Jeff often says. I have been dealing with this numbers game since I was 17. I’m 57 now and while I truly feel like I’m in a better place mentally, I realize that I still have the inner battle of self esteem and I still make it about the numbers — the one on the scale that I am so thrilled to see yet I still can’t wrap my head around what it took to get me here and wonder if it’s all a dream. Those moments of doubt I still feel about myself even though I know how much I have to be proud of and how much I have accomplished. I’m a work in progress…you can’t fix a 40 year old problem just like that. But I am working on it.

Week 1 – Check!

This morning, I completed the first week of 10k training and I can honestly say that it went well.

Jeff put together a great periodization plan that had me running three times this past week – a speed run last Monday, an all out 3 mile effort on Wednesday and a long easy 3 mile run on Friday. We trained on Tuesday and Thursday, primarily working on mobility but we included some weight work and TRX. The plan also called for cross training on my workout days so I spun on Tuesday and then got familiar again with the elliptical on Thursday.

The big surprise of this past week was that I used yesterday as a day off. I know I could have taken a nice walk during the day or even in the evening and yes, I went back and forth about it….should I take that walk? Should I give myself the day to recover as Saturday is technically a day of rest on the training plan. I am usually all about getting those calories burned and moving however and whenever I can but I made the decision to use the day to relax and recover after five days of training and knowing that walking would be there the next day. The world didn’t implode by my decision to rest and I was just as ready to do my workout this morning…perhaps, even better because I allowed that day of recovery to happen.

Onto week 2…

Let’s Do This!

I’ve been waiting for this. I’ve been overthinking about this. I’ve been wanting this. Today marks the beginning of a twelve week periodization/training to get me race ready on March 27. I haven’t ran a 10k race in quite a few years now and I still have some PTSD from the last Jerusalem 10k I ran with my youngest daughter in 2022.

Jeff sent me the plan late last night and I looked it over, immediately coming up with the usual questions — what am I supposed to do pace wise/time wise with that three mile run on Wednesday? How speedy is Monday’s speed run? How do I handle the cross training days when I am on vacation but (gulp!) without a spin bike? And just as immediately, Jeff responded with the words – it’s a blueprint but things can be mixed or changed. Hearing that and knowing that the next few weeks are going to be spent with my in-laws and kids and grandchildren and not always having access to a gym or to virtual training sessions, I have a better sense of how I can manage things.

I am not looking for a PR (personal record). What I am looking to do is to be at the starting line in 12 weeks, as mentally and physically ready as I can be, and run the 10k as best as I possibly can. It might be cold and rainy as it was four years ago when I ran my last 10k or it might be in the 70’s and not unlike the time I ran the Cleveland Half marathon with Jeff and collapsed from heat exhaustion. I am going into this with my eyes wide open and a fresh attitude. I want to do this. I’m excited. Let’s go!

It’s A New Year

We are two days into 2026 and I have a few things to celebrate.

I did my 100th walk with Peloton this morning and earned a purple badge for my efforts. Since I joined the world of Peloton last June, I have been enjoying all kinds of cycling, running, walking, strength and cardio workouts. I have my favorite instructors and I am finding my way around the app, which I never thought I would do at this time last year. My newest thing is doing a meditation workout each day, whether it’s a five minute relaxation or.a 10 minute mindfulness workout…just something where I am putting everything aside and focusing on myself.

The scale is showing the efforts of my labor. I am feeling the difference in how my clothes fit and in my overall body composition and this gives me the motivation to keep on keeping on. I don’t feel like I’m overdoing things with my fitness and I am not under-eating or over-eating. I feel like I’m in a really good place.

My book ‘Embracing My Inner Athlete’ is in the production phase and it’s listed on various bookseller sites, including Barnes and Noble and Amazon. We are starting to work on the social media and print media marketing so look for a whole lot of posts, stories and reels about the June book release!

Running For Aliza

I have just a little more than three months until I run the Jerusalem 10k and while I haven’t begun any official training, I think about the course and how challenging it is with all of the hills and I tell myself I am going to do it, one way or another.

Yesterday, I watched the livestream funeral of a longtime friend who fought a long and hard battle with breast cancer. Hearing her husband and children and her sister talk about her…her courage, her strength and perseverance, her kindness…it made me want to do something to honor her and what she stood for.

I am going to run my 10k on March for Aliza. It might be a cold and rainy race day and the hills might seem to get to me but on that Friday morning in late March, I am going to show up and dedicate all that I am and all that I have to my friend who always showed up, who was always with a smile and who defined true resilience. I know the course is anything but easy but when I start to question myself or think it’s too hard, I will think of Aliza and remember her bouncy energy and tell myself that nothing is truly too hard or to impossible.

Improvising

Yesterday morning, our WIFI was down and wouldn’t you know it…my beloved Peloton bike and tread are connected with the internet. My plan for a nice walk before my training session with Jeff was kibboshed but that time allowed me to get some things done around the house earlier than planned. I figured I would do the walk later, once I got things fixed with the internet.

But wouldn’t you know it…the FaceTime on my IPad wouldn’t work in the basement and after ten or so minutes of Jeff and I trying back and forth to call one another, we made contact! He had me put my phone down on the floor, held up by a weight and he trained me for the next 45 or so minutes like the pro that he is. I used the TRX to do lunges and squats and work on my upper body with rows and bicep curls. I did 60 second wall sits against the basement wall while we chatted, or rather he spoke and I tried to stay in a locked position. I did push ups and planks and kettlebell swings and you know what — it was just as intense and enjoyable as if we were using a bigger screen.

I wanted to work out yesterday. I needed it and it needed me. With some creativity on Jeff’s part and a little moving things around to get the camera just right, the improvising worked just fine!

Trying Not To Be Invisible

As long as I have been taking spinning classes, I tend to choose a bike that is way in the back of the class or way to the side of the class. I am not the fastest or the most intense spinner and I guess I have always felt like I would rather not be so easily seen, for fear that I will be ‘caught.’ I know, I know…it’s silly but it’s that lack of confidence I still battle.

I have this bike that I have really liked in my Mati Studio spinning classes. It’s nothing fancy…in fact, they replaced the bikes I had really liked and had all of the measurements memorized and tracked according to my height. Anyways…for the last few months, I would come to class early enough that I could save the one bike that is in the last row and has a bottle holder and a place to keep my towel and I could stay somewhat invisible. Well, last week, I noticed that ‘my’ bike is broken and the other bikes around me all have a sack to hold for water but is quite challenging to take in and out while keeping pace with the class.

This morning, I decided to take a big step and use a bike that was stationed in the front row of the class. Granted, this bike had a water holder similar to the back row bike I had favored in the past but it was out there in terms of my being seen. And after class, I bumped into Chen, the instructor and she told me that she notices how I come to her class regularly and how hard I am working. She saw me. I had tried to hide for so long and today, I allowed myself to come out of hiding and be seen and she saw me and it wasn’t so bad after all.