Reflections

There is still a week left before we say goodbye to 2024 but I’ve had a chance to reflect on this past year and wanted to share the highs and lows and everything in between. I started out the year with a sense of wanting to get as many walks and runs in as I could before I had my hysterectomy on January 29. I knew I would be in recovery mode for a good six weeks afterwards and I wanted to be as in shape as possible for the surgery and its recovery. I also went into the surgery with the mantra – running will be there. I meant it when I wrote it and I meant it when I said it out loud to others and I meant it in the many moments I reminded myself before and after the surgery.

Running was there but it came much later than I had expected. I figured, six weeks but it wound up being more like a week shy of three months. I followed a very thought-out plan that Jeff set up and I eased my way back into things, first with walks and then walks on the treadmill with a 30 or 45 second jog mixed in and then a full mile on April 21. I was officially back to running in mid May but things really took a nosedive with me mentally and it would take another three months until I came to terms with it all.

The year saw me back at it with running with groups —- the NJR group and the Aurora ladies on Sunday mornings, the Cleveland Pathfinders on Wednesday evenings — a very early morning run with Kasey out in Hudson and a few trail runs with Jeff when we were able to make things work with both of our schedules. I was in and out of Cleveland a lot and in Israel more and more and so it didn’t allow me to participate in all that many races. I did run the Gathering Place 5k in June after a few years of missing out for one reason or another and I placed first in my age group at the Classic at Mastick 5k in August!

So it was in August that I had one of those talks with Jeff…you know…the ones we have in our schmoozing time before I actually start working out in our training sessions. I think we were talking about my joining him and his Pathfinders running group for an upcoming trail run and I expressed uncertainty and doubt about my being able to keep up with them during the run. He called me out, albeit nicely, on my lack of confidence and suggested I had been lacking the confidence over the last several months that I had worked so hard at gaining over time. He said something was holding me back from having the confidence in myself…not just with running but with my overall exercise. He recalled how I was at my best self, confidence wise, back when I was spinning a few times a week and adding swimming to my routine. I thought about everything he said and realized he was right AND that I could turn things around on my end. I went to my favorite spin class the very next day and came out of it on such a high. It had been just about five years since I had last spun yet as soon as I got back on the bike and was a part of that Friday morning class, it was as if I had never stopped. The following week, I dusted off my bathing suit for a swim at the JCC and I felt the same feeling of ‘I’m back!’

While I haven’t swum since September, I have been a regular spinner! I joined the local gym in Israel where they have spinning classes throughout the week and I have been loving the classes there! I may not understand every word or instruction but I feel this adrenaline rush as I’m following along with the class and it’s a rush I feel in the hours after I’m done. Training wise, Jeff tells me that I am back to where I was at my best. I’m lifting heavier weights again and my form is better with those TRX lunge/high knees that were looking pretty pathetic not too long ago. Things with running turned around confidence wise back in August when I showed up at the first of two runs with Jeff’s running group. I was told it would be roughly three and a half miles…no biggie for me.. and no one is left behind, no matter the pace. Jeff stuck with me on that run all the way through and that run wound up being 4.7 miles! While I questioned Jeff later that evening about whether he had intentionally misrepresented the distance as something of a test (I won’t say ‘lie’), he said I didn’t need a test to show me I was capable but I needed to see behind the proverbial curtain #2. I did my second run with the group a week later and that was most definitely a test but one I passed. I ran with Jeff and two other guys on the trails near Canal Road and managed to slip into the water and bang myself up a bit yet I got right back up and kept on going…through the woods and in the dark. I blogged about that trail ran that made me a BAMR and it was published by Another Mother Runner in late September.

I signed a contract with Library Tales Publishing in June to publish my manuscript about my fitness journey and I am looking forward to the editing process at the start of 2025. My youngest daughter got engaged in November and I am using her May 2025 wedding as just one of the many why’s to keep things going activity wise. I am in this…physically, emotionally and mentally…and while it took me a while to get back my motivation and that drive to be my best self, I am there and I can’t and I won’t let myself go backwards again.

Embracing This Feeling

I am in a place right now where I am happy with myself for the first time in a really long time. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my weight or my dress size and it has everything to do with a sense of glory and contentment that I haven’t known in a really long time.

Jeff remembers me being like this. I don’t. I am running with a feeling of appreciation and a heightened motivation to do it because I want to, not because I have to. I have been going to spinning classes and I am loving it! I know I’m not the fastest in the room and I don’t care…I go at my own pace and I am starting to see a difference in how my clothes fit. I am enjoying the rush I feel during the class and I feel the adrenaline in the hours afterwards and it makes me want to keep doing this as long as I possibly can.

This ‘routine’ of mine feels right. It’s something along the lines of what I was doing five or six years ago but so much has changed. I’m doing each run and spinning classes because I can and because I want to. I’m not in training for a race but I am in training for my life. It’s not about the amount of miles I run or how long I spun..I’m not competing with myself or anyone else and that sense of pressure I used to put on myself is no longer dictating things. And it feels really good.

Trending Higher

I don’t like to depend on the comment from Strava I get each week about how I did. I have had that note to tell me I’ve been keeping things steady and I’ve gotten a pat on the back for having taking it easy (I got a lot of those in the six weeks or so that I was recovering from surgery earlier this year). I know that at the end of the day, it’s my opinion that matters and I don’t need an app or a scale or a measurement of my hips to define my effort.

This past week, I have posted my activities each day and I see that comment on Strava that is there to greet me – Trending Higher. Well, yes I am trending higher. I ran five miles this past Wednesday and I haven’t done that in quite a while. And that run felt amazing and I actually felt that I could have continued on with the run and that is something I haven’t felt in quite a while. I did two spinning classes. My training sessions have increased in intensity as I am doing more lifting and heavier lifting at that. My motivation is higher. My effort is higher. So yeah, Strava — I am trending higher.

I See My Kneecaps Again!!!

Since I’ve reunited with the spin bike in September and I’ve added one to two classes a week to my workout routine, I am indeed noticing the formation of my kneecaps. Whenever I’ve shared this observation with Jeff, he laughs but he tells me he gets my excitement over seeing this measure of success that has nothing to do with a number of pounds or a number of inches.

It had been a while since I noticed the indentation in my kneecaps but it was just as exciting today as it most likely was, the first time I noticed it back when I started running regularly. I have been working out with a bit more intensity over the last few months but even more so in the last several weeks with the addition of spinning classes to my routine. My runs are done with a bit more attention and focus and though I am not doing super far distances, they feel different…in a good way. My training sessions with Jeff are more strength and conditioning focused these days and I just love the lifting and core movements. He tells me I have more pep in my step and I am getting better with my planks and squats but I’m afraid to get too much better with the planks out of fear of his increasing the planking time!

I’m getting more comfortable taking the spinning classes here, even if I can’t understand 90% of what the instructors are saying. There is just something about being in a class setting and working that intensity on the bike…it’s so different from running and from training and I like all three and I look forward to keeping the spinning in my routine, now that I’ve found it again. And if it helps make my kneecaps more toned…hey…I’m okay with that!

Making It All Work

I have to admit that last week at this time, I was a bit concerned about what the week ahead was going to look like from an activity standpoint. Thanksgiving in the US meant that Jeff would be off that day so no virtual training session for us/me. My daughter was days away from getting engaged and her boyfriend-now fiancée’s family was coming in for a long weekend to celebrate. I opted to do my workouts in the gym in the 6ish hour on both Thursday and Friday in order to get all of my cooking and preparing done for the weekend but somehow, I got it all done.

Fast forward to Sunday. We drove out to the wedding venue with the kids and that basically took up the entire morning and I chose not to head to the gym before we left the house at 7:30 even though I was wide awake. Instead, I booked an hour at the gym for the middle of the afternoon once I knew we would be back and I got a great three and a half mile run in. I hadn’t done much in terms of steps during the morning but between the run and some walking I did more intentionally throughout the rest of the day, I had done more than 12,000 steps! Yesterday, it ws a similar type of thing where we drove out to a few places to look at wedding gowns and I knew I wouldn’t be doing anything activity wise until we got back so I reserved the gym for 4:00. Since I found myself free after 1:30, I went for a nice walk outside and then did 30 minutes on the elliptical and voila — I was up to more than 14,000 steps by the end of the day!

I had to think outside the box and i also had to be intentional but I somehow managed to get it all done, rather than use my busy mornings as an excuse to take a day of rest. I am so used to running and using the gym in the mornings and then just making sure that I get my step count in but this past week taught me that I can be flexible with a schedule that is hardly routine.

Onto next week!

I Needed That Run

I haven’t run with the Sunday morning group in Aurora in months and this morning was the perfect opportunity to do a run outside, see the group and get a run in with my MRTT running buddy Kasey. I knew it was going to be a cold one so I layered up with some extras: my neck gaiter, running gloves and knit running hat. (By the second mile, the gloves were in my pocket, the gaiter was off my face and more of a scarf, but the hat stayed on.)

As I drove out to Aurora at 6:30, the sun was just starting to rise and it was the most beautiful sight! I was really looking forward to seeing some of the regulars I have come to know and meet some of the newer runners…well, new to me but not to the group since I haven’t run with the group in I don’t know how long. I got there just in time to do our group photo and then off we went. I ran with Kasey, Nicole and Heather with no fancy plan for pace or distance. As we ran through the parking lot of the school and football field, it was as if it was just last week rather than several months since I was there. Once we crossed the main road, Heather and Nicole ran a bit ahead of us while Kasey and I ran through the Aurora Farms outlet center and caught up on each other’s families and travel plans. I really wasn’t aware of our pace or time but it felt faster than I normally run and I told Kasey I was fine with getting anywhere between three and four miles.

As we turned onto the street that leads to where we had parked our cars, I knew I was starting to falter. I felt it in my breathing and I felt like I needed to slow things down yet I wasn’t ready to press Pause on my watch. I could see the parking lot from a distance and I told Kasey to go ahead but she was having none of that. She went from being my running buddy to my coach, telling me to lift up my feet and finish the run. I channeled my inner trail runner…you know, the one who always seems taxed at the end of a trail run with Jeff but there is that last tenth or two tenths of a mile to do and he tells me to sprint. I didn’t exactly sprint this morning but I did find the fire left in me to lift up those feet and run to the end. This run was just what I needed. I could have chosen to run by myself this morning in my neighborhood but I wouldn’t have had the same results. I’m not talking about the overall pace or the time I ran. I’m talking about my needing the company of my running buddy and the nudge she gave me to push a little harder…nothing crazy, mind you…but pushing me enough to look back at this with no regrets and a whole lot of pride.

Well, That Was Fun

I haven’t run on the trails in two months and I haven’t worked out outdoors with Jeff in I-don’t-know-how-long so I was a little nervous as I drove out to the Rocky River reservation for our workout-trail run. I wasn’t feeling all that confident about how I was going to handle whatever Jeff had in mind for the workout and then to do a trail run immediately after that?! As Jeff unloaded all kinds of goodies from his car – the TRX that he hung over a tree branch, a running ladder, battle ropes, a slam ball — I asked him if he brought some business cards in case a walker or runner passed us by with interest.

The workout was pretty intense and Jeff kept telling me that he had been wanting to do this for months…except I hadn’t been ready. Physically, yes I had been ready but the mental part had taken some time and he knew I was going to be up for this workout. I warmed up with some moves with the TRX – some rows, some chest presses — and then I did the first interval. I had to run in and out of the ladder one way and then the other, jump rope with rope-free handles, squat jumps and holds, some ball slams followed by alternate battle ropes and a whole lot of bicep curls with a resistance band. The second interval was more challenging — jumping in and out of the ladder, throwing the slam ball against the tree with one arm, more battle ropes and more jumping rope. I tried not to think (read: worry) about people passing by and watching me…I kept myself in the moment and focused on what I was doing. I loved the intensity of it all even though it took me a while to recover when we were done.

Except we weren’t quite done. We had a trail run to do. Jeff said it would be two plus miles and we wouldn’t do anything too crazy. I was so sure that with the way I was moving, it was more of a 12 or 13 minute mile pace but surprisingly, my splits were 12:10, 11:20 and 9:37. With fall soon turning into winter, this run was a real treat and I probably could have gone more than the 2.21 miles we ran. Dare I say it was fun?!

Falling In Love With Running Again

I was once asked what my favorite running season is and without hesitation, I answered ‘fall.’ It’s not too hot and it’s not too cold and with the change in the colors of the leaves, it offers so much to look at on the run.

I had a great spinning class yesterday at the gym and so today, I had a three mile run on my plan. I have been following Jeff’s suggestion to limit my run on the day after spinning to an easy three miles. Being the overachiever that I am and wanting to get my 5k badge from Strava, I do the extra .11 and truth be told, I am not all that sure that it’s not all that easy. I left the house around 7:15, dressed appropriately for the 56 degrees and went according to the route I had planned out around my neighborhood. I started out a little easier but as I listened to the music and moved along the streets, I told myself it was okay to push a little bit. I took in everything — the flashing of the lights on the school buses, people walking their dogs, the array of colors of the leaves on the sidewalks and grass. I was in the zone once again and it felt wonderful!

Disappointed Yet Determined

I had been planning on running the Jerusalem Marathon 10K this coming March. After two years of not doing this particular race distance, I was finally in a good place to say I would run the 10K, awesome hills and all, with no set time goal. I had done the 5K in 2023 and I didn’t particularly love the course and then I missed the entire race this past March as I was recovering from major surgery. I was ready to tackle this new goal and so I went onto the marathon website last night to sign up.

The race was changed to April 4. Wait…what?! It was supposed to be on March 21. I won’t be here on April 4. When did it get changed?

Realizing I won’t be able to run this race, I was disappointed. It was a real let down because I was really ready to push harder in the months ahead with including more inclines and hills and getting to the 10k distance on my runs. I let Jeff know about the date change and he responded, ‘I’ll run with you at Brecksville on our own.’ That sense of disappointment I had been feeling turned to determination as I sent him a ‘like’ emoji. Granted, I won’t be running in Jerusalem on April 4 and I won’t be experiencing that joy I feel every time I participate in the race but I can feel that same joy as I run a 10k through the trails of Brecksville and conquer similarly awesome hills and no time goal. I might not get handed a medal when Jeff and I finish but I can channel that same glory and sense of accomplishment. Let the training begin!

Running With Confidence

I did it. I ran five miles this morning but not just any five miles. I ran according to a plan I had made up for myself that I haven’t done in I don’t know how long, whether it was because I had a niggle in my calf or I had been sticking to something that was within my comfort zone.

This route took me up a few streets before turning onto the main street where I ran a good mile or so before running down a big hill. The thing about this hill is once you reach the bottom, you have to get back up and it is something of a thing, or rather it had been. This morning, I was determined to manage myself and take my time with getting back up to the top where it flattens out for a little bit before some more hills on a nearby road. I have resorted to walking up that first big hill in the past or starting out with a slower run and then switching to a walk but I really, really wanted to get through the hill climb without walking. I channeled my inner trotter and did my thing, trotting along the road that is just outside the Old City and gave no thought to the time it was taking me to get it done. And when I reached the top, I got right into something of a run without needing to catch a breath or take a little pause.

Getting to the top of the hill was a big deal for me. I knew I could handle it physically and I knew I had it in me from a mental standpoint but too often in the past, I started out just fine and let the mental beast tell me I couldn’t finish because it was too hard or I didn’t have it in me. I had it in me today. I felt strong and I even felt a little confident that I could handle this hard thing…I just needed to remind myself that it was all within my reach. And when I did reach the top and I got right back into running mode, I thought about that moment at my first Spartan race when I was climbing that wall and feeling like I just couldn’t get myself all the way up. I kept on slipping downward as I was trying to get higher and higher to the top and I was feeling like this was out of my reach. With some help from Jeff and a fellow Spartan racer, I reached the top of that wall and then got myself back down with the most amazing feeling of having done something not just hard but literally and figuratively, out of my reach.