Best Laid Plans

I am not going to run a 10K tomorrow. I don’t even know if I am going to run a 1K tomorrow.

You see…I had this plan and over the last few days of being under the weather and physically run down, I know that attempting a feat such as a 10K would be disastrous. I am letting things go as they are and not freaking out that I had this run on my calendar for tomorrow. Things happen and I am here to say that it has taken me years…and I mean, years…to be smart and really figure out how to deal with things as they come and accept them.

So let’s rewind a bit. Last week, I was in the middle of a training session with Jeff and I mentioned that I wanted to run a 10K this month…specifically, this week that we are now in. He told me to write out a calendar for the week and let him know what I planned to do each day so that he could plan our workouts accordingly. I decided to do the 10K tomorrow – Wednesday – and I had planned to go to spinning classes on Sunday and then, on Friday and I would do an easy run on Monday and walk to compliment our training sessions for Tuesday and Thursday. That seemed easy enough. Well, I came down with something over the weekend and I woke up on Sunday morning and canceled my place in that morning’s spin class with a bit of FOMO. I wound up doing a two mile walk and managed as many steps as I could for that unintentional activity I recently blogged about. I woke up on Monday morning, feeling not so great to run outside but good enough to do something really easy and controlled so I did a 5K in the gym in the morning and then took it somewhat easier the rest of the day. I still had hopes for that 10K run when I woke up this morning so I stuck to my plan to walk and train with Jeff. The walk felt amazing…it was gorgeous outside and I felt an increase in energy that I hadn’t felt in the days prior. By the time I started my training session with Jeff, I was not feeling quite as great but I really wanted to do something that would allow me to activate my muscles. We agreed that the 10K was not happening whatsoever but a little body weight workout could help me out in feeling more myself. He had me doing stretches on the floor, lighter TRX moves, more stretching, some deadlifts and shorter planks…by the time we were done, I felt a little bit lighter in my movement and a whole lot happier that I had asked him to do his thing and personalize this training session just for me.

If I wake up tomorrow and I feel a whole lot better, I might do a little run. It won’t be anywhere near a 10K and it certainly won’t be done for time and pace. I had a plan and unfortunately, things didn’t go according to plan but I am really okay with doing what I can, in the body that I have and knowing that I can give myself grace. That 10K will come and when it does, I will be ready for it!

Unintentionally Active

During yesterday’s training session, Jeff kept on singing the tune to a 1980’s commercial for Sure deodorant. Raise your hands if you’re sure.

After a few days of really great step counts, I had a feeling that yesterday wasn’t going to be quite as high…I’m talking 17,000- 18,000 steps but I was confident that I could manage 15,000. I started the day with a two and a half mile walk and then I made sure to move around as much as possible…walking across the street to the fruit store, picking up my grandson from preschool, walking on the treadmill for ten minutes before my training session. By the time Jeff was singing the tune to Sure, I was at 11,500 steps and I told him that I was pretty sure (pun intended) that I could make it to 15,000 by the day’s end. I didn’t exactly raise my hand with my sure-ness but I had a pretty good feeling that I would see that number.

Well, I am here to say that not only did I make it to 15,000 steps by the end of the night but I racked up 17,441 steps! As I had shared with Jeff, it’s becoming something of a normal thing to get those steps in. Sure, it helps to do a run or go to a spin class or walk a few miles around the neighborhood but it’s also the mobility part…being as unintentionally active as possible…that gets those steps numbers as high as they are. On a day like today where I am fasting for 24 hours and not running or doing any cross training, it might be a little trickier to match yesterday and the previous days’ step counts but as long as I stay unintentionally active, I will be just fine.

Is It Really A Comparison Trap?

I ran four miles outside this morning, which is pretty cool considering I haven’t run outside in several weeks and I have been dealing with a pretty nasty colitis flare over the last few days. But that isn’t what I am blogging about.

Once I was done with the run, I checked my Apple health to see what my cardio fitness had measured during the run and I got some stats, comparing my fitness today to that of a year ago today. I didn’t think for too long about comparing things, knowing all too well that I wasn’t running or lifting or spinning last year at this time. A year ago today, I was one month post-surgery and I wasn’t doing more than walking laps around my upstairs and doing some floor stretching with Jeff instructing me along on FaceTime.

How far I have come…I am running these days, no longer questioning or doubting my ability or thinking that a certain distance or certain pace is ‘just enough.’ I run with a sense of glory and freedom from the numbers and I enjoy it so much more because I am not playing that comparison game with my younger running self. I am lifting again and I can’t help but enjoy seeing my biceps and triceps tone as I do curls and kickbacks. I am spinning again…I don’t know how or why I avoided doing it for so long but I am back to it and building more confidence as I try out the more challenging classes and remember that adrenaline rush that made me take up spinning in the first place. I am not the same runner nor am I the same athlete and I am totally, one hundred percent fine with that. Then again…maybe 150%!!!

Reasons To Run

This morning, I ran a 10K. I haven’t run that distance in a really, really long time…years, perhaps. I had many reasons to do this run this morning, some of them were more shallow and selfish and others ran deep.

I ran for the 10K Strava badge. I know, I know..it’s pretty trivial but earning a medal…even a virtual medal…means something to me. It’s a piece of proof of an accomplishment and in my case, a feat. The weather in Cleveland over the past month has made it impossible for me to run outside. I wasn’t going to chance an injury while running on the snowy roads or getting sick from the extreme cold temperatures so I kept my runs inside and at not more than three and a half miles. Coming back to Israel this past week, I have been greeted by the rain and well, running outside on the stony pavement wouldn’t be less risky than running on the ice or slush. I had made up my mind yesterday that I would run a 10K and yes, it would be on the treadmill and yes, it would take some time to get it done but when I finished the run, I felt that sense of accomplishment that comes with running a race or running on the road.

I ran because I have a gown to fit into. My daughter is getting married in a little over three months and it’s somewhat of a crunch time if I want to feel good in the dress that I said my own yes to. Three and four mile runs and spinning all help but going the extra distance helps all the more and now that I have done this extra distance, I know I can do it again and again.

I ran because I needed an outlet to deal with the emotions that have been hitting me over the last few days since I came back to Israel. Each hostage is a precious soul and I have celebrated and continue to celebrate the ones who come back alive and I mourn the ones whose bodies are finally being returned to their loved ones. The news that has hit me the hardest is that of the Bibas family. Those two little boys’ faces have been the images we have all seen and embraced throughout the last 500 plus days. As much as we were hoping and praying for news that they would be coming back to us alive, we knew in the last few days that they were murdered and they would be returning, along with their mother, as corpses to their father. The mother and the grandmother in me was devastated beyond words but that grief took on a whole other level in the middle of the night, last night when the news reported that the body believed to be Shiri Bibas was not hers. I ran for that hour and nine minutes to remember those beautiful angels and to pray for an answer about their beautiful mother.

I ran because as a guest on Ali on the Run once said, ‘run because you can.’ I ran because I could. With my eyes on the Strava badge. With my eyes looking to see if the run made me miraculously lose some inches. With a heavy heart. With tears.

Evolving..

It’s been roughly four months since I reintroduced myself to spin classes and oftentimes, I feel more like a newcomer than an intermediate level spinner. The bike setup at the gym in Israel is different from the J and the J is different from the one I used while I was in Florida. I’m not always able to push as hard in the sprints and I can’t for the life of me, figure out how to set up the lights on the bike at the J to show my efforts. There are certain instructors I prefer because of their energy and the way they motivate me and there are certain instructors I have shied away from because they are deemed ‘hard.’

This morning, I had planned to go to the J to do the 9:30 spin class with Erin. I’ve been to a few of her classes and I like how she offers instructions/suggestions for the resistance level and RPM, which helps me try to keep up with everyone else. As I passed the white board with the schedule of classes for today, I noticed that someone else was subbing for Erin…someone who is known to be at a pretty high and intense level and someone whose classes I had avoided in the past. But today, I decided that I would stick to my plan and I would take whatever Kate dished out. She took us on some hills and had us do a whole lot of sprints and seat jumps and I have to say that I finished the class, feeling a bit mightier and a wee bit proud of myself.

I could have decided to skip the class today but I really didn’t want to. I could have chosen to stay at home and not brave the roads and stormy weather but I didn’t. I chose to do something hard, or shall I say harder. It wasn’t the hardest thing I have ever done or will ever do…it was somewhat challenging to be one of the less intense spinners in the class but it wasn’t impossible or implausible. It got me out of my comfort zone and allowed me to experience something that I thought I shouldn’t or couldn’t do. And now that I know that I can do it, I will be looking for that harder Monday morning spin class instead of steering clear.

Another Chapter Closed

This morning, I went on a run and then I journaled it, as I do with every run I complete, whether it is on the treadmill, on the pavement, on the trails or a race. The entry I wrote today was the last of the journal book I have been keeping since July 31, 2022 and it gave me a chance to reflect on how far I have come in the last two and a half years.

I am not the same runner or athlete I was when I wrote about my run on July 31, 2022 and I am not the same runner or athlete I was when I journaled in the other running journals I have kept over the last several years (I still keep them in my kitchen drawer, along with various other running mementoes.) The first several posts in this most recent book had very little information about the runs — the date, the distance and the overall pace. As time went on, I filled in the notes section, detailing my routes and at times, I wrote how I felt. In previous journal books, I would write about how I felt but it was more of a confessional, sharing that my stomach was off or my calf ached or my I hadn’t been feeling ‘it.’ It had been so negative and looking back, hard to read as it seemed like I was complaining and it certainly was not inspiring. I remember when I finished the book before this one…I had made the decision to go into this book and journal the run for what it was — the date, the distance, the overall pace — and share my routes and any reflections I could. When I went through the posts this morning and recalled the last two and a half years of running, there were a lot of explanation points and a lot of underlined words. I sounded happier and a little more confident. My paces might have changed over time and I know for certain that my motivation went through one heck of a roller coaster ride last year but I have come out of this time with a better appreciation for what I can do, rather than what I can’t do. When I go out on a run, I can look at my watch simply to make sure I pressed start but I don’t need to see what my pace is because I have learned that running is more about the effort than the time and speed.

I will be starting a new running journal next week and when I do, I am going to try something a bit different. Granted, I will fill in the standard notes of the date, the distance and the overall pace because I wouldn’t want to leave those lines blank. But instead of taking up so much space detailing the route I took, I will write more about how the run really went. Was there a hard hill along the way and how did I approach it? Did I sense a change in my intensity and effort and if so, what was it? A running journal is so much more than a record of the runs in terms of the stats…it’s meant to be a record and better yet, a reflection of the run so that when you look back and say, ‘I remember that’ with a whole lot of explanation points.

Building Myself Back Up

So for two days now, I have been stepping things up with my activity level and reached the 20K mark by the day’s end. It wasn’t because I ran a half marathon or even a 10K. I did it by doing a 5K run and a training session and I also moved around a lot with my steps. Something that seemed out of my reach suddenly became something very much possible and it came pretty easily!

This morning, I did things a little different in terms of my routine. I didn’t get out of bed at 7 and get ready for my run and do it fasted the way I normally do. Instead, I stayed in bed and relaxed, listening to a podcast (after having an handful of nuts as a pre-run snack) and simply taking it easy until – gasp – the nine o’ clock hour came and I got ready for my run. By the time I got washed up and dressed and did a few things in the kitchen, it was almost 9:30. I headed out and stuck to the route I had made up for myself and off I went.

I don’t honestly know if my effort was any better because I ran two hours later than I normally do but I gave it my all. I told myself I would do five miles and I stuck to it, even when I hit four miles and I thought for a moment, ‘four miles is a pretty good run.’ Four miles is indeed a pretty good run but I knew I had it in me to do more and this morning was something of a test I needed to take to prove to myself that not only could I get it done, but I could make it something of a new normal for me if I just believe in myself. Here’s to reaching for the possible!

Reaching For More

Twenty thousand one hundred and forty.

That is the number of steps I took yesterday. I was at 17,000 plus steps by 3:15 PM and then I texted Jeff at 9:15, sharing that I was at 18,965 steps and asked if I get a prize. He called me while he was on a break from work and suggested I go for a 20K.

I had done a 3.3 mile speed interval run early on in the morning and I had done a lot of walking throughout the day but I honestly didn’t think I had reached such a high step count. And when I did reach that high step count of nearly 19,000 steps and I was tired from having been up since 4:30 AM, I accepted Jeff’s not-really-a-challenge-but-kind-of-was-a-challenge. A thousand steps is just about a half mile. I had hopped out of the car (it was in park!) just as Gary was pulling into our garage and I walked through the park that is just behind our apartment complex. That got me about two hundred steps so I walked some more outside while talking to Jeff about the run I had done earlier. I took our conversation inside and walked circles around our kitchen island as my middle daughter looked at me with wonder and amusement. I watched the step count increase as I feverishly did more and more laps until finally…I saw that twenty thousand number!

Up until yesterday, twelve thousand to fifteen thousand steps have been the average goal I try to get in a day. The runs and the spin classes all help tremendously with my reaching that step goal but it’s the staying mobile through the entire day that gets me over the top. Yesterday showed me that I don’t have to go for the status quo. I could have easily taken the 17,900 some steps I had accumulated by the mid afternoon and consider it a great day but I had it in me to keep at it for however long I could. And I did. And when I got up this morning, I was so sure my legs would be tired from all of those steps and I would take it easier but guess what?! I found that my legs weren’t tired and I had it in me to just go for it today, minus the run. I did a 3K walk on the treadmill before breakfast and then I took a three mile walk with a friend and later on, I walked back and forth to town with Gary for a nice lunch.

Reaching for more…

Holding Steady

Last week, Strava told me I was in recovery mode and good job, Hildee.

Today, I’m told that I’m holding steady.

Two weeks ago, I was trending higher.

What gives??? What do I need to do to get a true pat on the back from the Strava bot. I know what I am doing and how much I am doing and how hard or not hard I am working. I just did an interval workout on the treadmill and I was running paces in the 8:35-8:55 minute mile range at times. Granted, it was for 45 seconds at a time but still…I haven’t attempted those kinds of paces in a really long time and I was totally fine doing them. It was pretty intense and it felt good.

I see that updated brava from Strava every Monday and I let it define me. And I let it define me the same way I let the scale define me for decades. Well, I say I don’t need those words on the far left corner of the page to direct me. At the end of the day, I am not doing this for a brava from an app or number on the scale to tell me I am doing a good job. I was out with friends the other night and one of them said my face looks thinner. I hadn’t heard that in years! THAT felt like something that told me I am doing a good job. My clothes are starting to fit me better once again and don’t laugh Jeff, but my knee caps are turning into something I can think about showing off in a…gulp…shorter skirt.

Take that, ‘holding steady…’

Stranger In A Strange Land

I did something this morning that isn’t all that big of a deal yet it kind of was a big deal. I took a spinning class at my in-laws’ golf community fitness center. I say it’s not that big of a deal because spinning has become something of a regular thing for me over the last few months but it kind of was a big deal because I didn’t know a soul in the room.

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I got to the spin studio a few minutes before the start of class. I didn’t know how many people would be in the class (there were five besides me) and I didn’t know how challenging the class would be (it was definitely doable but challenging). and The instructor, Daniella, helped me set up my bike and assured me that I could go at my own pace, which I did for the 50 or so minute class.

Showing up today was kind of like when I show up at a race where I don’t know anyone else at the starting line. I get a little nervous but I feel some comfort in knowing that I know what I am doing. No one is paying attention to where the resistance button is set on and no one can see the distance I’ve spun. I was able to keep up with every one of Daniella’s instructions and I felt that same sense of invigoration I typically feel, when I finished the class.