Coming Back (But Was I Really Gone?)

I write this on a Friday morning, able to look back at a pretty great week that was. My last post was about my new Peloton bike, which I am absolutely loving! I am loving the app and the variety of classes and workouts that I can take pretty much any time of day or evening.

So about this pretty great week. Sunday had me doing a run to Acacia that reminded me of the first time I ran there and broke my foot in a trip/fall. Sunday’s run was really meaningful as I realized how far I have come and how different a runner I am today. After giving myself a little break from that, I did an intervals/arms ride with one of my favorite Peloton instructors Tunde….definitely something different from the classes I’ve taken so far. Monday saw me do a nice outside walk in the morning, a low impact spin ride and then another outside walk in the evening.

Tuesday was a pretty big day — I began it with it being the first of a three day bone broth cut. Jeff and I had been talking about it for a while about it being a way to jumpstart my metabolism and reducing inflammation and since Gary has been away for the past week and I was on my own for meals, I figured it was a good time to try this out. FYI – I lost 2.4 pounds! I went to Jeff’s for a long overdue measurement assessment and did a workout in his gym that was a mix of TRX and aerobic moves without it being too jumpy and intense. That evening, we met up again for the Full Moon 3 Miler race at South Chagrin Reservation. I say ‘met up’ because we hung out together before we had to line up of the trail race but we each did our own race. I was more in the back of the pack and I was intent on not pushing myself too hard since I was technically fasting and I hadn’t been on the trails since last November. It was pretty brutal…a few hills that I had to walk and well, I realized once again that when I haven’t been on the trails in more than a few months, I am not all that conditioned to handle the hard parts. I did very much enjoy the race and seeing my MRTT friend and River Run buddy, Tracy, and I did take in the surroundings that make me want to come back to run there again.

Wednesday had me recovering with a lot of walking and a 30 minute spin ride with a new favorite instructor, Hannah and yesterday saw me do a walk before my virtual training session with Jeff and later on, a 20 minute spin ride. This morning, I had set out to do an outdoor run and I had every intention of keeping it easy since I was coming off this three day cut. My pace was pretty steady as I ran out of my neighborhood and through Shaker Heights but I was really starting to feel taxed so I stopped the run and switched to a walk. After a few minutes of walking though, I decided to switch to a run and for three miles, I walked and ran through Shaker and Beachwood, back to home. I’ll be doing a 30 minute spin class at noon and then calling it a day.

So while my running pace and distance aren’t all that crazy, I am getting back to running at a regular schedule (three days a week) and doing spin rides most days of the week but some are shorter in time and some are a little longer. Walking has been my friend this week, allowing me to move and recover from the race and also, appreciate all that I get to see when I am out and about.

Change Is Good

I did something big a few weeks ago. I had been on the fence for months about buying a Peloton bike for my basement. Was it worth the extra money since I had a gym membership here in Cleveland? Would I really use it and make it worth my while? I had been so sure that doing a spin class on my own would give me permission to hold back with my effort since no one was really watching and I assumed that I wouldn’t ever need the app everyone else swears by, because I run on my own and train regularly with Jeff. I was so wrong!!!

I had tried out a few Peloton spin classes with my daughter’s profile a few months back and I found myself pushing really hard to get higher and higher on the leaderboard. The competition was real! I was coming to realize that the timing of the spin classes at our gym didn’t work as well for me as they used to and I wanted a certain flexibility that the gym wasn’t offering. I wanted to be able to work out when I wanted, whether that was first thing in the morning or later on in the day and unfortunately, the gym was just not doing it for me.

We wound up cancelling our membership at the gym after 30 years (that was another change!) since I really had no other reason to work out there and our travel schedule didn’t allow much flexibility for my husband to continue a consistent schedule with his personal training. I went online in early June and ordered a bike and a pair of spin shoes and had it delivered the day a few days after we got back from our travels. Since then, I have been a busy Momoffive68! Spin classes are my number one but I have done a few classes on my treadmill and the app came in handy last week when I was traveling for back to back weddings and I needed a little something in terms of movement. The app is amazing — there are all kinds of pilates and yoga and cardio classes and there are all kinds of workouts I can do on a treadmill or outside for walking or running. Here I thought I wouldn’t need or benefit from anything other than a bike and even that didn’t seem worthwhile until I actually decided to make the change and that change was oh so good!!!

Taking Care Of Me

From day one — nearly 11 years ago — my fitness journey has been all about going from sedentary couch potato mom to active mom/grandmother and along the way, learning to make myself and my well being a priority. It hasn’t always been easy to get started on a run or a workout when things are busy at home or I know someone could very well be needing me more than the run or workout needs me. It has been a process but I am getting there, in terms of allowing myself that ‘me’ time. Putting my oxygen mask on before I put it on my loved ones…

This past week, I have been busy helping my parents prepare to pack up their home, a home that they have lived in for nearly 40 years. My husband and I drove to Michigan to spend a few days here, going through the house room by room and it’s been physically and emotionally exhausting at times. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to train with Jeff on my usual training days while I am here and we decided to stay a day or two longer than we originally intended. I also knew that the point of my being at my parents was to help them organize things and pack up and not allow me much time for anything else. And I knew that the extreme heat we had in Cleveland late last week would be pretty much the same while we are here in Detroit so walking or running after 9 AM wouldn’t be happening.

All of that said, I knew that I needed to have my ‘me’ time each day and even if that meant that I was getting outside before 7, I would take that. I ran on Monday morning and then again, this morning. I took a nice walk yesterday and plan to do a walk tomorrow morning before we leave. I truly appreciated that time I was outside, hitting many streets I haven’t been on in at least 10 years and hitting some streets I have never stepped foot on. I took in the landscaping and the architecture of the homes in my parents’ neighborhood and said a silent thanks for being given this gift of time and movement. With each run and with each walk, I came back to my parents’ house with a little more fervor and energy to do whatever was needed to get done. (I also did a 10 minute meditation/breathing workout yesterday afternoon which really gave me the opportunity to breathe in and out and put everything else aside to focus on myself.) My routine might have changed a bit while I was away but the commitment I made to myself nearly 11 years ago, didn’t waver one bit. I needed to take care of myself before I could take care of anyone or anything else. There was a time when I wouldn’t have considered such a thing…that I couldn’t afford to be ‘selfish,’ but the truth of the matter is that I need to be selfish and I need to think of myself and what I need. It’s that oxygen thing I keep on going back to — I have to put the mask on myself first and be at my very best before I can be there to help others.

Weighing In On Things

I had my yearly physical this morning and for the first time in a really long time, I wasn’t dreading the idea of getting on the scale or talking through the year that was, which included some highs and lows with my fitness and nutrition efforts.

I knew my weight had gone down over the last few weeks and it was quite a moment when I got on the doctor’s scale without so much as a feeling of shame or worry. Granted, the scale was in kilograms but the number seemed pretty okay to me and it definitely seemed more than pretty okay when the nurse told me what it was in pounds. Coming back home after a nice vacation in Italy, I was a little worried that working out less intensely and eating more carbs than usual would equal a hefty gain but my weight was right where it was when I started the vacation and I have even dropped a pound and a half since I’m back! I feel better, I’m moving better and my clothes are fitting me better and that means more to me than the number on the scale. Really…

The doctor was impressed with the number too, noting that I have lost 15 pounds since last year’s physical. We talked about what I have been doing activity wise (running, spinning, walking and strength/conditioning workouts) and he said he wished all of his patients would follow my lead. I shared with him that I have a book about my fitness journey coming out next June and he took note of that as well…

It took me months to get to this point and I am going to keep on keeping on….not so much about seeing the numbers on the scale continue to drop (although I wouldn’t mind seeing a few more pounds gone) but more about how much better I feel and how much more energy I have because my metabolism is improved. I am eating more intuitively and more mindfully and I am exercising with a greater sense of purpose and awareness. I think about where I was at 26 and 36 — sedentary and too caught up with everyone else and not prioritizing myself — and then I think about how I made the change at 46 to make myself a priority. And here I am, at 56, with so much more living to do.

Walking With No Strings Attached

I tried really hard to come up with a title for this post. I could say ‘walking naked’ but that would probably lose some potential readers. I could say ‘walking screen free’ but I had my watch on to track my movement and to keep track of time. So I will simply say that I took a walk with no strings attached. A nice, easy walk around the neighborhood without a phone and without music playing in my ears.

I got back this morning after being away for six weeks. I was pleasantly surprised to see a minor gain on the scale but I am so ready to get back into my routine that I am pretty sure I will lose the extra pound and a half pretty quickly. Strava applauded me for my ‘consistent training,’ which means I didn’t hold steady or trend higher over the time I was away in Italy. My Apple Health tells me my arrows are down in the distance category and with my calorie burn. And I got a notification that I am not doing as many steps lately. No duh.

So I was on a week plus vacation after my daughter’s wedding and the carb intake was higher than normal and I wasn’t working out as intensely as I typically do BUT I did track every single thing I ate and I didn’t overdo with my meals and I did walk a lot. I know that all counts for something and I can’t be down on myself. But now I am back home and I have nothing standing in my way. I took a walk this afternoon and really took it all in because I had nothing else distracting me…no phone, no music. I looked around as I walked, taking in the flowers and the clear blue sky and the cars passing me by and allowing myself some time to hone in on what was going on with me.

I have a lot going on right now that would, in the past, have made me worry about others and forget about taking care of myself. But I am in a place now where I can worry and at the same time, take care of myself and that is what I am choosing to do. That walk today would have normally felt boring and made me want to rush to get home and reach for the phone but it was anything but boring. It was cathartic and healing and so necessary. It wasn’t about the calorie burn I will get at the end of the day and it wasn’t about going for the distance I need to turn the arrow up. It was about doing something for myself when I needed it most. Making myself a priority. Making the most of my ‘me’ time. Putting myself first.

How Far I’ve Come

We arrived at our hotel last night and I was so patient…letting the check-in manager go through all sorts of offerings they provide and holding off on asking the one question I had.Where is the gym located? With a sincere look of apology, the manager said they don’t have a gym in this particular hotel but I can visit one of the neighboring hotels. Hiding my utter shock, I assured him I will be fine…after all, we are expecting to do a lot of walking over the next several days and Jeff had already given me the thumbs up to enjoy myself (it is a vacation after all) and do a series of squats and push ups each morning and move however much I can, on my own.

When I think about where I was 11 years ago…when I first started this fitness and wellness journey, I never would have thought to ask where the gym was located or concern myself with how I was going to make it through a trip without having a plan. Eleven years ago, I hadn’t met Jeff and it was only because of a conversation I had with my father-in-law, that I realized how very much I needed to take care of myself in the midst of being so overwhelmed with taking care of my family. That talk led me to sign up for an introductory meeting with a potential trainer i.e. Jeff and the rest, as they say, is history. Vacations and weekend getaways became more about finding that time to get a run in or get on the elliptical but it wasn’t so much about working out those extra food calories as it was about having that time for me.

I will be okay over these next few days without a gym. I’ll move as much as I can with the walking we do and copycat what I did a few minutes ago with five rounds of a 10 squat/5 push up routine to start my day. I will try not to think about seeing that ‘you’re taking a recovery week’ on my Strava page come Monday and I will work my way back up in those Apple Health arrows as I see them head down a little. Eleven years ago, I didn’t know from Strava or Apple Health and I wasn’t thinking about a trail run or what race I wanted to do next. I was just beginning a journey where I prioritized myself and changed the trajectory of my life…a life where I was that couch potato mom who didn’t think she could or she would try on a pair of running shoes to running five half marathons and participating in two Spartan races. How far I have come!

It’s Not About The Number Or Is It

I tend to be a daily weigher. I don’t know exactly when I first started weighing myself every day and I’m sure it wasn’t on my mind during my late teens and in my 20’s, as I was putting on weight and I didn’t seem to think too much about the scale going up as much as my dress size. Let’s just say that during my years of following Weight Watchers, I got into the daily weigh-ins and before I knew it, I was letting the number on the scale dictate things. If it was higher than the number I had set for myself or better yet, a number that was set for me…I was all over myself, obsessing over how to get the number back down. If it was a number that I was okay with, I would tell myself that I was ‘good.’ It took me years (and lots of talks with Jeff) for me to realize that I needed to stop allowing the number to tell me if I was ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ I’ve told the story before – I canceled my membership with Weight Watchers about three years ago and while I did see my weight go up over time, I wasn’t having this obsession with the number the way I used to. I saw myself getting stronger and I could see and feel the transformation in my body through my increased activity level and the changes in my eating and over time, the number didn’t seem quite as important. I could get on the scale and weigh myself but I made it a moment in time versus the end all and be all of my life.

All that said, I was very happy this morning and yesterday morning when I saw a number that I haven’t seen in years. Granted, I had made a lot of effort with my workouts and I did some calorie cuts to help me fit into my Mother of the Bride dress last week but the hard work continued the day after my daughter’s wedding. Everything I am doing — the spinning classes, the running, the walking, the workouts with Jeff — are all a part of who I am and who I want to be…stronger, leaner, healthier inside and out. Seeing the number on the scale go down over the last few weeks was rewarding for the work that I’ve been doing and continue to do but it’s not, as I said, the end all and be all.

I like the number I saw on the scale this morning. It gives me that nudge to keep doing what I am doing…an anchor if you will…but I know that it can and might change tomorrow and next week. The thing is, I know that there are so many other factors that define if I am ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and at the end of the day, I get the final vote.

It’s Not About The Kudos

I have to keep telling myself that. I really do. My intensity level this past week wasn’t what it was two weeks ago or three weeks ago. I took two spinning classes with one of the hardest teachers at the gym, I’ve done a lot of steps and I ran yesterday but that kudos I got on Monday for ‘holding steady’ is going to turn into ‘ah…a recovery week,’ come this Monday.

It’s okay. I still moved plenty. All of the arrows on my Apple Watch are upward…for now. I made it all work and the final product may not resemble a typical week of a few runs, a few spin classes and training with Jeff (we haven’t worked out since a week ago Wednesday!) but I am still motivated and focused.

The past week has been a bit of a whirlwind — my daughter got married on Monday and we’ve been traveling a lot and celebrating a lot but as I just stated, I am motivated and focused. My days aren’t as flexible as they had been last week or the weeks prior but I am doing what I can, when I can and however I can. An arrow on my Apple Watch isn’t going to reflect that effort. My Monday report on Strava won’t take all of that into consideration but I know at the end of the day that I am doing A-ok.

Oh What A Beautiful Morning!

My legs felt more than a little fatigued last night when we got home from our niece’s wedding but I had made up my mind to go for a run this morning. I wasn’t sure if it would be on the treadmill or on the pavement but I knew that someway or another, I would shake those legs out and run.

I didn’t hesitate one bit this morning as I got dressed and put my running hat on instead of my fitness headband. The hat is meant for an outdoor running and an outdoor run was what I was going to do. I planned out a route for a run that wouldn’t be all that hilly, knowing that I am on day 5 of another calorie cut and I am also training with Jeff today.

Today’s run was all about appreciation. I was thankful for the beautiful weather and I was thankful to be able to take everything in as I ran along the city running path – the greenery, the people on their bicycles, the dog walkers, the clear blue sky. I was thankful to run without any discomfort or pain after doing a bunch of twists and trying to dance along with my kids last night. I was thankful that as we are celebrating my daughter’s wedding a week from today, that I have my family and close friends coming in over the next few days. The run itself wasn’t anything fancy…it wasn’t anything special in terms of pace but I put my heart and soul into it and came out all the more thankful.

Always Need A Plan B

I headed out this morning and got started on my run, moving along on the street adjacent to ours and then turning onto the busy main street that would take me on one of my favorite routes here in Jerusalem. I had decided to do this route, knowing full well that I would be running up and down some steep hills but I was all set to do it.

At about a half mile into my run, Gary called and told me that he had just gotten a four minute warning about an upcoming siren and I should come back to our place for shelter. I guess my watch or phone hadn’t gotten the notification but I took his word for it and turned around onto a nearby street and got back to our building just as the siren started to go off. We stayed in our safe room for ten minutes and I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to chance things by running outside again in case another siren went off. I headed to the gym and ran four miles and that was that.

I really had intended to do my run outside. I couldn’t have asked for better weather and I had the route planned out and I had made up my mind to handle the hills as they came along. As I sat in our safe room, I thought about getting on the elliptical instead but the run won out. Once I was done, I was so glad I had stuck to that plan…even if it was a plan B.