Look At Me Now

Back in 1985, I was here in Israel, spending my 12th grade year in seminary, eating my heart out and doing absolutely nothing in terms of exercise. I put on 30 pounds that year and it was the beginning of an almost three decade long battle with the bulge and with my self confidence.

This morning, I ran four and a half miles but it was no ordinary run. I hadn’t run outside in several weeks and I had decided to run a route I had created for myself that includes a big climb that I refused to be intimidated by. I was doing fine, running along the streets on my route and moving along nicely with my pace but then I realized I had turned onto a street that didn’t look quite as familiar as the one I had taken on past runs. Before I knew it, I was on Aza street, the street where my great grandfather had lived for many years and I had visited for many a five course Wednesday lunch and weekend stay during my year in seminary. Running past my great grandfather’s house on Aza street made me realize how far I have come from that 17 year old girl. Never had I imagined that I would be running four and a half miles on a windy Sunday morning and never had I imagined that I COULD be running…at all.

I want to tell my 17 year old self that it’s okay to think of yourself and what you need to be the best version of yourself and that might mean that you transform your basement play area into a gym. I want to tell her that you can dream of big things and make them happen…that nothing is too hard or too impossible. And I want to tell her that it might take time to reach those goals but if you work hard and believe in yourself, it will happen.

Those Awareness Cues

Taking it easy was anything but easy last week. I spent a good amount of time last Wednesday and Thursday traveling and I was sticking to my steps for activity and that was it. I needed to give myself some time to rewind after a few weeks of being overzealously active and I can honestly say that time does heal and being aware make a huge difference.

Being aware means something along the lines of not overdoing on a run when you know you are going to be sitting in a car for a few hours. Being aware means something along the lines of not going to a spin class the morning after having sat in a car for a few hours but perhaps, do a good walk instead. Being aware means that even though I am feeling fine after a run, I might not feel all that great later if I don’t hydrate properly.

I’ve been doing this fitness journey for over 11 years now and I am still learning and I am still growing. I still have that competition with myself..you know, that thing where I see on my Apple Watch appt that my arrows are down with my running pace and I just need a few runs to bring the arrow up. Maybe I should go for a run but wait…I need to take it easy for a few days because I was overdoing it last week. Oh and my move calories are down (yes because of the above mentioned rewinding break) so maybe I need to get an extra walk in after we’re back from dinner even though I already walked a few miles earlier that day. I see those three arrows pointing down and there is that part of me that wants to do whatever it takes to bring them back up right this second but there is also that part of me..that older and hopefully wiser part…that says those arrows are like the scale at Weight Watchers or the doctor’s office and they do not define me. I want to feel good…to walk and to run cramp free and pain free and if that means that I need to take it easier to compensate my having worked a bit too hard…so be it.

Being More Aware

Last week, I shared how I had seen and felt the effects of doing a bit too much in terms of my activity. I saw my weight go up five pounds and I was feeling something of a crampy feeling in my right leg (always my right side!!!) and I couldn’t understand why my increase in time spent and intensity invested in my runs and rides and workouts were causing all of that. I think that it was that moment when Jeff asked me to do a week in review of my activity that I had that a-ha moment. I was addicted to that Peloton app I had once considered to be something I didn’t want or need.

I took a few days off from running and spinning and allowed my cramped leg to get uncramped, which didn’t take very long and I thought a lot about how I needed to get back to that version of myself that worked out for the enjoyment of it and for all of the benefits I get from it, physically and mentally. I didn’t need to sign myself up for a walk that had me doing 15 minute mile paces just because it earned me a higher spot on the leaderboard and a sore glute for my efforts. I didn’t need to push myself to get a certain amount of miles in a spin class if I would be walking funny a few hours later. I could see from the notifications on my phone where I spent my time on various apps and Peloton had ranked in the top five. I found myself constantly checking out the app to see the schedule of live and encore classes I could take and I was using my more open days to fill them up with workouts and classes. And when I looked at the exercise log I had shared with Jeff over the last week and saw just how much time I was spending each day and how much I was doing, I realized I needed to take a few steps back.

I promised Jeff that I would work on being more aware. Being more aware of how I felt during a run or ride or workout and how I felt after. Being more aware of how I moved around in general and if something wasn’t feeling right, I needed to think about why it wasn’t feeling right. It’s funny how we had talked long and hard in the summer of 24 about how I had lost my drive and what was it that had me so driven. Spinning was one of the answers and while I have been doing it pretty regularly for about 15 months now, I can see now that that drive that had been missing for far too long, was back just around the time that I had that bike set up in my basement.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my bike and my treadmill and I truly enjoy the thousands of classes I can take but I need to calm myself down and realize that the library will be open for months and years to come. It’s so not worth having a cramped leg that I got because I was overdoing things and would cause me to take a little break as a result. I can still run and ride and walk and do a workout but I need to be a bit smarter and more aware…that’s all.

Taking A Few Steps Back

Something wasn’t right with my right leg last night. It felt achy and tired and I had a really hard time sitting comfortably through an enjoyable dinner out with friends. I tried changing positions and I eventually switched to a more comfortable chair mid-way through dinner and as I got up from the table to head out of the restaurant, I wondered to myself if that ‘not so right’ feeling in my leg was due to overdoing things earlier that day. I mean, a 75 minute walk+run workout and a 30 minute treadmill walk with one of the more challenging Peloton instructors isn’t too much, is it?!

Turns out I was overdoing it and I had been over the last several days or better yet, the last two weeks. I think I got so excited about being back on my Peloton bike and treadmill again and having a lot more flexibility with my day that I got a bit overzealous. It’s not like I was doing classes and workouts back to back to back to back (I know…too much backing) but my activity level had increased and as a result, so did my intensity level. And after seeing my weight go down last week to the lowest number I had seen since 2017, I assumed that working out at this pace would result in my dropping another pound or two or three.

Think again. I’ve seen my weight go up two to three pounds over the last several days and I’ve been feeling that achiness in my right leg that I mentioned earlier. I didn’t panic about the number on the scale but I questioned whether it was from something I had eaten or whether I had been feeding myself properly to balance the extra activity I had been doing lately. As I felt that achiness more and more this morning, I debated against texting Jeff 20 minutes before our training session , figuring I’ll simply tell him when we start out. We chatted about how I had been feeling and he asked me a few questions about what I had been doing each day activity wise. He used the phrase ‘inflammatory response’…the body’s defense mechanism to protect itself from injury. As I rattled it all off, I came to the realization that I had been doing too much, albeit with the best of intentions. I was doing walking workouts that had be seeing a 14-15 minute pace and I was running paces I hadn’t seen in years and I was pushing eight miles in a 30 minute spin workout and of course, I attributed all of that to my weight loss and improved strength and endurance. The way I was working with this sense of push and over-drive to move more and do more, I was heading towards a real injury and my body was sending me signals via the weight gain and the cramped leg that I needed to calm down. And speaking of the best of intentions…Jeff told me I most definitely should have told him in advance about my leg so that he could modify our training session accordingly but being the master trainer that he is, he set up a recovery workout plan on the spot that had me working my core, activating my lower body without working it especially hard and most important, allowing to breathe and relax.

I had all kinds of plans for a cycling workout this afternoon and a 30 minute run tomorrow but I removed myself from the roster. I’m already feeling much better as I move around the house and go up the stairs with more ease than I had had over the last few days. Still, I am going to give myself some grace and take it easy. Running will be there. My spin bike won’t get too dusty. I am just going to follow the cues my body gives me over the next few days and get back to all of the things I love doing — running, spinning, faster walking — but do it with a little less zealousness and a lot more common sense.

Striving For Excellence

Today was THE day. I was getting my measurement assessment with Jeff after a little over three months since the last one. I’ve seen changes in how my clothes are fitting and I see the number on the scale going down but the proof was in the pudding (sugar free, of course) today.

Nine point eight pounds down. Two inches lost…sixteen millimeters gone in the caliper pinches. Don’t ask me to explain that last part but according to Jeff, it’s really, really good. When he calculated my body fat percentage, I was .1 shy of being in the excellent category for my age range. Right now, I am in the ‘good’ category but another little drop at the next assessment or two, I will be excellent.

I don’t think I got caught up in the excitement of it all until I was driving home and I thought about how I got to where I am today, after years of being stuck in a certain weight range and never seeing much of a change. I’m not necessarily doing so much more today than I did three months ago but there is heightened appreciation of everything that I am doing and I think that helps. I am running because I choose to and I am doing my workouts with Jeff with more eagerness and openness to do whatever he instructs me to do. I am choosing to eat food that is more satisfying and filling and I am choosing to not partake in food that I know I will regret eating later, because it’s considered something ‘bad’ for me. I am thrilled with where I am…with wearing clothes that had been hanging in my closet for years, collecting dust. I am excited to imagine where I can still go and it’s not so much about the number that would appear on the scale but having the healthier and leaner frame that would get me in that ‘excellent’ category. So I am really happy with being ‘good’ but I am striving for that ‘excellent.’

Thank you Lady Gaga

I had made up my mind to go for a run this morning and I have to admit…I was torn between running outside as I had planned and running on the peloton. I had laid out my clothes for the colder weather and I was okay with running in the (windy) 50’s and I was okay with running more mid-morning, once things were checked off my to-do list. But I also was okay with being inside and running in the basement and doing another one of those great Peloton treadmill workouts. My morning to-do list got bigger and bigger and I was finally able to get my running shoes on at about 10:45…a bit late for me but at least, not forty something degrees.

I made a decision. Outside, it would be. Here, I had the opportunity to get outside on what looked like a beautiful fall day and I had no reason to stay in my house to run and have regrets after the fact. I had planned an outdoor run for today — clothes set aside and a route that would keep me pretty close to home but spread myself out enough to get at least four miles in. I chose a 45 minute run with Susie Chen, a Peloton instructor I really like and a playlist full of Lady Gaga tunes….a run I had saved on my wish list for a time I could do it outside and here was that chance!

Lady Gaga’s energetic songs and Susie’s cuing made this run one of my best runs since my ‘comeback.’ I increased the pace when instructed but kept things pretty steady throughout the 4.35 mile run and my mile splits ranged between a 10:10 and 10:39 minute per mile! I’m sure I could have done something similar with a workout on the treadmill but running on the road and running on the streets was what I really needed today so thank you Susie and thank you Lady Gaga!

Fear No More

It’s actually kind of silly..my having avoided using this wonderful Peloton app I have for outside runs. Ever since I became a Peloton user, it’s been my go-to for treadmill runs here in the gym. I find the classes motivating and far more entertaining than listening to music or podcasts but it can be kind of a nuisance when it pauses over and over again because the treadmills here don’t connect to the app and the WiFi is often iffy.

This morning, I decided to throw caution to the wind and I did a Peloton run outside. I picked something on the ‘easier’ side — a 30 minute advanced beginner run with Matt Wilpers and I mapped out a route last night that had me avoiding traffic lights as much as possible. Matt provided great cuing and I found him to be wonderful company on my run (although I stuck to a more moderate pace for those jog/walk recoveries). It’s not all that easy to run around here with so many people passing by on the sidewalks and so many crosswalks and stop lights in the neighborhood but I made it work and my pace was pretty good.

Now that I can say that I conquered my fear of Pelotoning outside, I know I can look forward to more outdoor runs with Matt, Matty, Susie, Becs and Olivia. It might take some creative route planning but it’s definitely worth it!

Hello 10’s

It’s nice to see 10 as the first number for my pace, especially after being in the 11’s and 12’s for so long. Running more regularly outside has helped and I think that having a better outlook about it, has helped. I’m not racing when I go out for a run. I’m not looking to get a certain pace when I do my next race. I’m simply running according to feel and it’s feeling pretty good to hit the numbers I’ve been hitting.

I’m keeping up with my activity, running a few days a week, spinning classes twice a week here, training with Jeff twice a week and walking as a bonus. I’ve been loving the Peloton app and I’ve done a bunch of outdoor walking workouts and indoor runs. Those walking workouts are no joke — power walking has become something of a regular thing for me and I am loving it!

Getting Closer

You’re close to flipping this arrow. Pick up the pace in your running workouts this week!

So said Apple Health about my running pace. The arrow is down and as hard as I try, the arrow hasn’t been up in weeks. I know I shouldn’t let it determine my success or judge my efforts but when you see that darn arrow pointing downward and everything is pointing up, it hurts even a little bit.

I had a pretty busy morning and I’ve been up since four and I wasn’t able to get out for a run until noonish but I did get out there and I gave it my all. Three point one five miles and a 10:46 overall pace…not bad! I know I could have gotten my run in at the gym and I had the time slot reserved for this afternoon but it was so gorgeous outside that I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get out there, plus that apple health thing judges the outdoor runs that use the gps and not the treadmill runs that are manually tracked. I’m glad for the run I did…and I will run again outside on Sunday morning. Sure, I want that arrow pointing up but more than anything else, I am loving the opportunity to be outside while the weather is what it is and just being able to move.

Not Feeling ‘It’

I’ve had many bouts of not feeling ‘it’ when it has come to running but until this morning, I had never felt that way about spinning. Ever since I re-added spinning to my routine, I have gone into a class or a Peloton ride with a sense of excitement and want. This morning, though, I just wasn’t feeling ‘it.’

Truth be told, I wasn’t feeling ‘it’ as I went to bed last night. I had my clothes laid out and I had my alarm set and I had reserved a spot at the 7:30 am class yet I was tired from having been up since 5am yesterday morning and being on the go all day. Before I went to bed, I removed myself from the class, changed my alarm wake-up setting to 7 and decided that I could change my mind in the morning if I was up early and felt like going after all.

Well, I was up earlier than yesterday’s early…and I still didn’t feel ‘it.’ I had this feeling that if I went to the spin class, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it with so many things on my mind — the cooking that needed to get done for tonight’s holiday, the news reports coming in of the hostages’ release, the laundry that needed to get done. I wound up getting most of the cooking done with enough time to make it to the 8:30 class if I had really wanted to but today, I just didn’t want to and that’s okay. I might get my Strava 200k ride badge at the end of the month and I might not because I wasn’t feeling ‘it’ today. I took a great 60 minute outdoor walk with one of my favorite instructors and after that, I decided I had a little more in me to go for a quick run. It was a mile…not much more than that but I went for ‘it’ and felt ‘it’ and it was the fastest mile I have run outside in years!